Hi, I am made this guide to help muslim girls, like myself, who find themselves in love or in serious long term relationships with their sikh boyfriends and wishing to marry them but dont know how to.
I am Amina a british pakistani woman whose been happily married with her long term Sikh boyfriend now husband for 8years now. I have had two kids with him (alisha kaur and hasan singh). I first met Ranjit while at university while in the 2nd year of university. He was an average looking asian guy, with short hair and a little box beard…he didnt particuarly stand out of the crowd at first. I didnt particularly liked associating with guys let alone non-muslim guys but he was keen on getting to know me as we were in the same class and course and after a few weeks we became friends. As months went by I started to notice I began to develop some feelings for him as we met regularly up to study together helping each other on coursework and meeting up at the Student Union area to chill out, we were practically going out with each other in all but name. One day took me to a restruant and after our meal he asked me out, I accepted to offically be his girlfriend and it felt good to be in a proper relationship with a guy who truely loved me for me, guys I had been out with previously were all muslim yet treated me like crap, playing with my mind thinking we had a future yet never told me they had girls on the side or were due to be married with someone back home (pakistan) their family had chosen. I was tired of hypocrisy of pakistani/muslim men, talk of marriage and relationships depressed me… meeting Ranjit changed all that he gave me hope for the future I never had before.
Months went by and we got closer and closer, I know this was the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I had grown deep feelings for him and I wanted him to know if he was serious about me. One night while on the phone to him, I asked him what would his family say if they found out he was dating a muslim girl and wanted to marry her. He told me it would be difficult but regardless of their wishes he would marry me even if the family dissapproved. This was all I wanted to hear, and we got engaged secretly a few days after. After graduating both I and Ranjit got full jobs and worked 9-5 to save up for a flat, after a few months we had enough for a deposit and we got a flat without telling our parents. This was way if worst came to the worst we had a place to live if our families didnt accept relationship. Finally we decided to get married but had to break it to our families. For me it wasnt easy declaring my intentions to marry someone who wasnt muslim, as I come from a strict muslim pakistani family. I knew they wouldnt accept him as in Islam a woman is not supposed to marry a non-muslim yet a muslim man can marry anyone he wants. This was one of many reasons I left Islam and my family behind to be with the man I love, the hypocrisy of it all I could not stand and gave me new determination to live my life how i want to. Ranjit’s family after much talking came around to the idea of having me as their daughter in law and I eventually got married at a gurdwara soon after. We moved into our flat shortly after and 2 years later brought a house and sold the flat. I’m glad I made the tough decisions I made earlier on as now happily married with 2 beautiful kids and living life how I want to with man I love. Too many muslim girls I have talked to had non-muslims who they loved yet never had the courage to commit to a long term future. This is why I wanted to share my story, and stories of other muslims girls who were in similar situation and give guidence marry a guy who isnt from your community or religion.
How to Get Married in A Sikh Ceremony
Sikhs are encouraged to marry, and marriage is called ‘Anand karaj‘, which means ‘ the ceremony of happiness’. The Gurus taught that the family life was very important and being married is thought to be a necessary part of this. Many Sikh weddings are arranged marriages, and even if the couple have suggested their marriage the families will still be very involved. Its customary for the groom to be older than the bride is. A marriage cannot take place unless both the bride and groom agree to it.
On the evening before the wedding, the bride’s friends and female relatives may meet at her house. They have a party, where she is given money and special sweet foods.
They paint beautiful patterns on her hands and feet with a special dye, which last for several days.
Setting of the wedding
Sikh weddings usually take place in the morning. They must always take place in the presence of the Guru Granth Sahib. In Britain, they are usually held in the Gurdwara. Any Sikh may perform the marriage ceremony, provided that both families have chosen him or her.
On the morning of the wedding
On the morning of the wedding, the bridegroom and his relatives are welcome to the bride’s house, where they are given refreshments. Often presents are exchanged; usually things like cloth for turbans or clothing. Then they all go to the Gurdwara. The bridegroom usually wears a red or pink turban and has a scarf around his neck. He sits at the front, in front of the Guru Granth Sahib. The bride’s father puts a garland of flowers on the Guru Granth Sahib. The bride enters, with her sister or other female relative. She wears red, often with beautiful gold jewellery. After bowing to the Guru Granth Sahib as usual, she sits next to the bridegroom, and is given a garland of flowers by her father.
Readings from the Guru Granth Sahib are an important part of the wedding. The couple and their parents stand while prayers are said asking the God’s blessing on the marriage. A passage from the Guru Granth Sahib is read, and the person reading the service gives a talk about marriage and what it means. The couples are asked if they understand and accept their responsibilities to each other as a husband and wife. When they have nodded their agreement the bride’s father gives her the one end of the scarf. This is a symbol that they are being joined together as husband and wife. She holds the scarf for the rest of the ceremony.
The most important part of the ceremony follows. This is the reading of the Lavan, a hymn written for weddings by Guru Ramdas. It has four verses, which are spoken one at a time, and then sung. Each verse explains something about marriage.
As each verse is sung, the bride and the groom walk in a clockwise direction around the Guru Granth Sahib. When they have done this for the forth time, they are married. Everyone stands to join in the Ardaas prayer, and there may be speeches before everyone shares the Kara Parshad. A meal follows, which may be held in the Langar room.
If your thinking of converting but worried that your the only one who has ever left islam for sikhism, dont be.. as many have but do not openly declare their apostaphy of islam and embracing of Sikhism. Some who have are listed below:
Leeds, Alia Kaur is the sister of 7/7 London suicide
bomber Hasib Hussain. Kaur embraced the
Sikh way of life in the late 1990s. Her strict Muslim
family disowned her after discovering about
Muskan Kaur, formerly Muska Kakar – Muska is
the daughter of a high ranking Afghanistan Army
official in the Hamid Karzai administration and
comes from a devout Muslim family. She now
lives in the Holy city of Amritsar and has become
something of a celebrity in the Punjabi media.
Ayesha Kaur Duggal, formerly Aisha Jafri -
Born in Lahore, Ayesha is a medical doctor who
studied at Lady Harding Medical College in Delhi.
She is the wife of the eminent Kartar Duggal,
author of several exegeses on Sikh Scripture and
philosophy, and the sister-in-law of poet Ali
Sardar Jafri. Ayesha was married at the Golden
Temple in Amritsar according to Sikh rites.
Shemina Kaur, formerly Shemian Hirji – A Canadian
born Muslim who, prior to her conversion
to Sikhism, had published several scholarly papers,
including ‘Teachers of Punjabi Sikh Ancestry:
Their Perceptions of Their Roles in the British
Columbia Education System’, written as part
of her Master’s thesis.
Ajmer Singh, formerly Abul Turrani – A spy working
for the Mughal Emperor Aurangzeb, Ajmer
Singh took Amrit at Anandpur Sahib in 1699 by the
hand of Guru Gobind Singh himself.
Latif Singh Diaye - Latif is the son of renowned
Senegalese-American Imam Xadir Diaye. Latif is a
court stenographer and the author of ‘My Life As A
Black Sikh’. Due to his father’s ultra-liberal interpretation
of Islam, there was no issue with his apostasy
and conversion into the Sikh faith.
Shaheed Lachhman Singh Babbar, formerly
Bashir Mohammad – Babbar was a former Punjab
police officer who embraced Sikhism when, ironically,
in the company of Sikh separatists whose
organisation he was attempting to infiltrate.
Kuldeep Manak, formerly Latif Muhammed - A
famous Punjabi singer who, after he embraced Sikh
philosophy, released a number of Sikh devotional
Bhai Gurmohinder Singh, formerly Mahana Ali -
Now a Sikh clergyman, Singh embraced Sikhism in
1947. He was part of a rare East Punjabi Sikh delegation
that was later received by former Pakistani
premiere Nawaz Sharif.
Sant Lakhbir Singh, formerly Karim Baksh – Born
to devout Muslim parents, Singh converted to Sikhism
Allayar – A wealthy Muslim horse dealer of Delhi
who, after his conversion, became a Sikh preacher
during the time of Guru Amar Das.
Ajmer Singh, formerly Ibrahim Brahmi – A Muslim
recluse of the city Chhatteana, he received Sikh
baptism by the hand of Bhai Maan Singh.
(Beautiful testimony from white European ex-christian sister who embraced Sikhism)
(Guru Nanak Dev Ji the first to bring the light of a new and better path into the world lost in blind rituals, falsehood and spiritual darkness)